Blogger Late Scratch - Flu Symptoms

The Rational Sox Fan has been pulled from today's post at the last minute, the latest Red Sox icon to be hit by a flu-like bug making its way through the Red Sox clubhouse. Replacing the Rational Sox Fan is a minor conversation between two fans getting ready for the upcoming series against Tampa Bay:

MARTY: Bobby, I'm so depressed about the last two Sox games. But, at least we go against the Devil Rays next - should be a couple of wins in there for us.

BOBBY: Hey, Marty, you know they aren't called the "Devil Rays" anymore?

MARTY: Are you joking? That name was perfect for them! Devil Ray is a nickname for a Manta Ray, which is just a big slow fish that can look scary, but is really very docile and harmless. Why would they want to change that?

BOBBY: You got me Marty. Maybe there was a religious protest about having the word "Devil" in there?

MARTY: You know that's not fair. Satanism is a religion too - anyone care about hurting their feelings? And I know players like to give God a lot of credit when things go well, but no one really believes God has the time to intervene to help out a baseball team. But Satan? Man, he'd love to help out if he can get something out of it! The guy is a natural win-at-all-costs, morals-be-damned, crush-your-opponent kind of guy. Hell, it worked for the Yankees - you know the Steinbrenners must be related to the Dark Prince somewhere in their family tree.

BOBBY: Good points Marty. Having Devil in their name never seemed to hurt the NJ Devils much, now did it?

MARTY: OK, so give me the news, what's the new name? The Avengers? The Destroyers? The Hurricanes? It's gotta be good, right?

BOBBY: They are now the Tampa Bay Rays!

MARTY: That's it? How's that any different? Just afraid of the devil? It's still a fish, right?

BOBBY: No, Marty, this "Ray" is like sunshine, like a light beam. The owner, Stuart Sternberg, was quoted as saying it will be like "A beacon that radiates throughout Tampa Bay and across the entire state of Florida."

MARTY:

BOBBY: Seriously.

MARTY: I don't know what to say, it's just so beautiful and relaxing.

BOBBY: You okay Marty?

MARTY (yelling): THAT's THE STUPIDEST FRICKEN THING I'VE EVAH HEARD BOBBY!

BOBBY: I guess we'll never confuse Sterberg with Steinbrenner.

MARTY: Jesus Christ, Bobby.