Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Steinbrenner Buys Naming Rights to Fenway

In a shocking new development that is sure to send ripples across Major League Baseball, George Steinbrenner, with what may prove to be his final official command from high atop the Yankees lofty tower, has announced today that he has bought the naming rights to Fenway Park. Fans are in shock as they now wait in fearful anticipation of what name George will choose.

John Henry did not return calls, but made a brief statement via email last night. "As you know, we are committed to providing the best possible baseball experience for our fans, and to do that we have to look at creative ways of generating revenue. On the surface, this may appear to be a win for the Yankees. But, think about it. What have they gained? Not much more than the potential for some verbal one-up-man-ship. But from our point of view, we have raised a tremendous amount of new revenue that we can now invest in scouting, player development, and free agency. But, that's not all, this deal is so lucrative for us, that we are in effect draining the Yankee's own funding. Plus with the Boston Globe being owned by the New York Times, we felt there was some inevitability to all of this anyway."

Terms of the deal have not been made public, but sources confirm the Red Sox will be receiving in excess of One Hundred Million Dollars per year. That will, in effect force the Yankees to begin thinking about payroll cutting. In fact, the Steinbrenners have been spotted secretly meeting with the Florida Marlins over the past week, presumably comparing payroll strategies.

All of Red Sox Nation awaits word on what the final name will be. Guesses have been thrown around, including:

Yankee Outhouse
Steinbrenner's Bathroom
Loserville Stadium

Reaction from Red Sox fans has been mixed. "Are you f**'n kidding me?", said Joe from Everett. "That's the last straw - I'll never step foot in that place again". While Mary from Cambridge had a more hopeful view. "I don't care what they call the place - as long as we kick their butts! I love the strategy of taking away the Yankee's biggest weapon - MONEY".

Steinbrenner has asked for fans to weigh in on the new name. All comments to this posting will be forwarded to George's son Hank, who will be making the final decision.

10 comments:

Sweet Caroline said...

LOL! Over Red Sox Nation's (collective) dead bodies :D

Rooster said...

Steinbrenner is into renaming fields these days, so you never know - lol. Of course, Sox fans would bring back an old tradition and lynch the Sox owners on the Boston Common.

Jeff said...

Haha, funny one.

Sweet Caroline said...

Either that Rooster, or overbuy on the new $20 Red Sox scratch ticket (which will probably happen anyways) to help fight the cause ;)

Rooster said...

Hey - not a bad idea - I read about that off your blog.

Ted D said...

Rooster,

That picture in your banner is classic!

I think you'd see a riot the likes of which we've never seen if Big Stein tried it.

Great stuff, man. LMAO.

Rooster said...

Game on!! Watching right now on DVR delay - god I wish we were on the east coast.

Thanks for the comments Caroline - and nice to see you guys Jeff and Ted. I was going to do a more serious pre-game review, but I decided I'd have all season for that - why waste a fun April Fools Day? Dice-K just struck out the first 2 A's - looking sharp!

Peter N said...

Rooster, happy April Fool's day to you. I have a feeling that Georgie does not know that Boston is in the Commonwealth of Massachusetts!! GREAT STUFF, and thanks for all your comments over at my place.

Peter N said...

And I JUST added your link to my blog's link list. Thank you so much for mine! I'll be here just about every day! Peter

Rooster said...

Glad to hear it Peter - great minds think alike. Pretty good game last night - Sox looked good.