Monday, April 14, 2008

Weekend Yankees Winless

I re-wrote an old poem that I feel truly sums up everything I wanted to say today (my apologies to Dr. Seuss)...

To preface... the Steinbrenners were too busy counting money to watch the games this weekend, and wake up today to hear the good news...

Three thousand feet up! In the Yankee Boss’ den,

The Steinbrenners tuned their TV to ESPN!

"Pooh-pooh to the Sox Fans!" he was Yank-ish-ly humming.

"They're finding out now that no wins will be coming!

"They're just waking up! I know just what they'll do!

"Their mouths will hang open a minute or two

"Then all the Sox Fans down in Beantown will all cry BOO-HOO!"

"That's a noise," grinned the Boss,

"That I simply must hear!"

So he paused. And the Boss put a hand to his ear.

And he did hear a sound on the ESPN show.

It started in low. Then it started to grow...

But the sound wasn't sad!

Why, this sound sounded merry!

It couldn't be so!

But it WAS merry! VERY!

He stared down at Beantown!

The Boss popped his eyes!

Then he shook!

What he saw was a shocking surprise!

Every Fan down in Beantown, the tall and the small,

Was singing! Without any tears at all!

He HADN'T stopped the Wins from coming!

They CAME!

Somehow or other, they came just the same!

And the Boss, with his feet all buried in money,

Stood puzzling and puzzling: "How could it be funny?

It came without Schilling! It came without Papi!

"It came without Mike Lowell, or Doug Mirabelli!"

And he puzzled three hours, `till his puzzler was sore.

Then the Boss thought of something he hadn't before!

"Maybe my players," he thought, "don’t play very well.

"Or maybe...perhaps...we’re under a spell!"

And what happened then...?

Well...the very next day

The Boss got a jackhammer

And hammered away!

And he dug a big hole in the locker room floor,

He searched for a Sox shirt buried there before

And he lifted the shirt! And on it read “ORTIZ”!

And he...


Cursed to heaven on his knees!


Suldog said...

Very Grinchy! One of my favorite Dr. Seuss bits, well-re-done. Thanks!

The Writers' Group said...

Love this! Of course, the other possibility is that now he's not "buried" under the new Yankee Stadium, Papi will come out of his slump? Fingers crossed!

H. Roveto

Peter N said...

Well done! Who is the Take care.

Rooster said...

Sul - thanks for coming by!

H. - I've heard other people sonder the same thing - maybe this will actually snap Papi's slump. If so, even funnier!

Peter - good question!

MCG said...

Excellent post! I liked the Dr. Seuss theme. Thanks for the excellent postings and info on the sox. I feel very much in "the know" even though in Spain!

redsox.njdevils said...


Rooster said...

MGC - Gotta love the Spanish Sox Fans! As Remy says before every game...

"Buenos tardes amigos!"

Brittany - thanks for stopping by!

Anonymous said...

Good job - Next I'd like to see some 'green (monster) eggs & ham' :)

~**Dawn**~ said...

Well done Rooster. =)

Rooster said...

Thanks Caroline & Dawn.

Hmm, Green Eggs and Ham - there might be something there. I'll keep that idea handy - maybe a monthly Dr. Seuss discusses the Red Sox day? Hmm.

Anonymous said...

very well written...and funny
GLP - Bristol RI

Anonymous said...