Friday, April 25, 2008

Blogger Late Scratch - Flu Symptoms

The Rational Sox Fan has been pulled from today's post at the last minute, the latest Red Sox icon to be hit by a flu-like bug making its way through the Red Sox clubhouse. Replacing the Rational Sox Fan is a minor conversation between two fans getting ready for the upcoming series against Tampa Bay:

MARTY: Bobby, I'm so depressed about the last two Sox games. But, at least we go against the Devil Rays next - should be a couple of wins in there for us.

BOBBY: Hey, Marty, you know they aren't called the "Devil Rays" anymore?

MARTY: Are you joking? That name was perfect for them! Devil Ray is a nickname for a Manta Ray, which is just a big slow fish that can look scary, but is really very docile and harmless. Why would they want to change that?

BOBBY: You got me Marty. Maybe there was a religious protest about having the word "Devil" in there?

MARTY: You know that's not fair. Satanism is a religion too - anyone care about hurting their feelings? And I know players like to give God a lot of credit when things go well, but no one really believes God has the time to intervene to help out a baseball team. But Satan? Man, he'd love to help out if he can get something out of it! The guy is a natural win-at-all-costs, morals-be-damned, crush-your-opponent kind of guy. Hell, it worked for the Yankees - you know the Steinbrenners must be related to the Dark Prince somewhere in their family tree.

BOBBY: Good points Marty. Having Devil in their name never seemed to hurt the NJ Devils much, now did it?

MARTY: OK, so give me the news, what's the new name? The Avengers? The Destroyers? The Hurricanes? It's gotta be good, right?

BOBBY: They are now the Tampa Bay Rays!

MARTY: That's it? How's that any different? Just afraid of the devil? It's still a fish, right?

BOBBY: No, Marty, this "Ray" is like sunshine, like a light beam. The owner, Stuart Sternberg, was quoted as saying it will be like "A beacon that radiates throughout Tampa Bay and across the entire state of Florida."

MARTY:

BOBBY: Seriously.

MARTY: I don't know what to say, it's just so beautiful and relaxing.

BOBBY: You okay Marty?

MARTY (yelling): THAT's THE STUPIDEST FRICKEN THING I'VE EVAH HEARD BOBBY!

BOBBY: I guess we'll never confuse Sterberg with Steinbrenner.

MARTY: Jesus Christ, Bobby.

7 comments:

redsox.njdevils said...

Ha! That's really funny. At first, I thought you were kidding with the 'Ray of Light' thing, but I looked it up and was shocked to find that he actually said that!

I liked the Devils reference! :)
I play clarinet in the marching band and in the concert band. I'm starting to learn the alto sax, but I'm not too great at it yet.

My little brother used to play the trumpet, but now he plays the drums. (For the sake of my hearing, I wish he stayed with the trumpet!)

Rooster said...

Yeah, when I read the "ray of light" comment, it inspired today's post.

Alto sax is a great instrument - good luck with it! Clarinet is awsome too, but I just love a bluesy saxaphone.

Sweet Caroline said...

Also LOL - Perhaps they can get Ray Romano interested in season tickets :D

Tied at 4-4 in the 6th down in that "Ray of Light" state!

Rooster said...

Hey Caroline! Still tied in the 10th right now. Lopez got an out!

Uh oh - Timlin. Hope he has that sinker sinking!

Sweet Caroline said...

Geesh, those Rays (making sure I don't slip and call them Devils ;) were especially giddy upon winning.
That big conference that Tito had on the mound didn't work!

Peter N said...

I too could not believe he really said that, Brittany. And Rooster, GREAT post. You have a gift...keep using it!

And Rooster, I've never seen Mike Timlin throw a sinker. But he tries his best as he ages, and he's a good guy. If we were at home last night, paps would have been in there. But then, he wouldn't be ready for today's (Saturday) game.

And SC, that was funny!!

Rooster said...

Peter,

He sure does throw a sinker. It is not the same drastic type of sinker that Derek Lowe threw, but it is a two seam fastball with a hard sink to it. He uses it to get ground ball outs. Check out the scouting report