Can the Red Sox top Billy Crystal?

I have been hearing it on the radio, on the street and in the papers. The Yankees are (reluctantly) conceding that the Red Sox have become the team to beat. The Yankees have been shaken from the 2004 devastating loss to the Red Sox in the ALCS. The Yankees are desperate and clawing at anything to leapfrog back ahead of the Red Sox. I heard all of these things, and even after the firing of Joe Torre, I have been reluctant to believe it. Until now.

Have you heard the Yankees are giving Billy Crystal a shot at the big leagues tomorrow? He will officially be signed to a minor league contract (details of which are not available here), and that gives him the opportunity to win a spot on the big league roster. He is already slated to be a starter in the game against the Pirates this Thursday. But, who are the Yankees kidding? Sure, Billy Crystal is a devoted, life-long fan of the Yankees. Who can deny that? How many fans have gone to the trouble to make a movie about their favorite team? (the 2001 movie was "61*" and told the story of Roger Maris' 61 home run season - a good movie). But if they are trying out Billy Crystal, I will concede, the Yankees are surely desperate.

Can this be rational? Billy Crystal is turning 60 years old. Isn't that too old for MLB? Well, Satchel Paige pitched at the "official" age of 59 (no joke), so maybe there's a precedent. More recently, we've had old timers like Nolan Ryan and Julio Franco rolling the old wheelchair out onto the field. My guess, given that we are in the 21st century, is that Billy is taking a page from another adored Yankee player who showed us all how the simple adoption of modern medicine can allow you to continue to play year after year. Yes, Roger Clemens. Isn't it obvious? Billy Crystal was a regular figure at Yankee stadium during Roger's best years with the Yankees. Billy Crystal had a big fan in George Steinbrenner. So, Billy Crystal uses his fame to get himself access to the Yankee clubhouse, befriends Clemens, and shares with Roger his plan to get in shape and make the team someday. Roger, ever the baseball mentor, takes Crystal under his wing, introduces him to his own personal trainer, Brian MacNamee, and the next thing you know, Billy Crystal will come strutting out of the dugout tomorrow looking like a wrinkled version of Jose Canseco.

So, clearly the Yankees have outdone themselves this time. They are indeed desperate. But, they are clever. While the rest of the league explores untapped baseball talent across Asia and South America, the Yankees are the only ones exploring the untapped resources of Hollywood. It seems so obvious now, doesn't it? It was right under our noses the whole time! But, again, I think the Red Sox can outsmart them at their own game. Billy Crystal did not portray a baseball player in his movie, he directed it. Where the Red Sox (are you listening Theo?) can counter this is by going hard after Kevin Costner, and they need to do so before the Yankees think of it. Not only has Kevin Costner been associated with baseball movies, but he has played the parts of baseball players and adoring fans of baseball. I know what you are thinking - but is he a Red Sox fan? Well, maybe not to the extent that Billy Crystal is a Yankees fan, but in "Field of Dreams", which ballpark did he drive across the country to attend a game, Yankee Stadium? No, it was Fenway Park. That's good enough for me. And not only has he proven his love for the game in "Field of Dreams", but he also played a catcher in "Bull Durham" and a pitcher in "For the Love of the Game". We all know how valuable pitchers and catchers are.

Just imagine our first game against the Yankees when they trot out their new secret weapon in Billy Crystal, and then see the looks on their faces when Kevin Costner strides out of the dugout and takes the mound for the Red Sox. What a sight that would be!

Is Clemens Rational?

They have officially sent the FBI after Roger Clemens to investigate the possibility that he committed some form of perjury during his visit to congress. Hearing that made me truly pause and reflect on WHAT THE HELL IS CLEMENS THINKING? Obviously he is not thinking very clearly, that much is certain.

So far, all the evidence really seems to support the notion that Clemens did, in fact, receive steroid and HGH injections from Brian MacNamee. Suppose for a second we presume this is indeed what happened. I can see Clemens making an official statement through his attorney somehow denying the accuracy of the claim and leaving it at that. But, to hold a press conference stating you have NEVER been given even a single steroid or HGH injection, and then reaffirm those statements in front of congress, knowing you are out and out lying, is nothing short of ludicrous! He is wealthy, had a successful career, and is preparing for life after baseball. Why risk a prison sentence to go along with it? I just don't get it!

However, if MacNamee is the one who is lying, Clemens is doing the worst job possible of convincing anyone of his innocence. He provides no story of his own about what took place, only offering denials of all MacNamee's claims. His responses to Andy Pettitte's testimony are juvenile and not believable. Nothing really makes sense. If he was truly innocent, I would think he could explain things in a believable, coherent manner. The fact that he cannot do so makes me feel that he is simply lying and trying to cover things up. My bet is that he feels the whole case is not provable either way, so he'll simply take a side and stick to it knowing it cannot be proven. Looks like it was not such a good strategy.

He should have simply kept quiet and left the doubt out there and avoided further embarrassment and humiliation, possibly topped off with a jail sentence. Maybe he can room with Bonds.

A Rational Take on Steroids

With the recent media circus surrounding the Mitchell report, and more recently, Roger Clemens' visit with Congress, it might be time to take a rational look at the subject of Performance Enhancing Drugs (PED's). It is a tough subject, but in truth, it is being typically blown beyond proportion in the media. Ever since there was truly something at stake (money, reputation, fame) athletes have worked hard to gain a competitive advantage. The greater the value of what is at stake, the greater the effort put in. This typically takes the form of hard training, exercise routines, stretching, diet, innovative strategies, etc. But, how do you get an edge? Any way you can. Remember Sylvester Stallone in Rocky? His edge was unusual down to earth workouts - punching butchered steers, running stairs in downtown Philly, working out in remote Russian farms, etc. His opponent in Rocky 4 went high tech - computerized analysis of intense workouts. An edge over what Stallone was doing.

Okay, that's all fine, but what about steriods? Well, the technology of physical fitness has dramatically increased over the last few decades. Gatorade was introduced. Power bars. Stop by any health store and look at the array of powders and mixes to add muscle, reduce fat, extend workouts, increase energy, etc. All designed to get an edge. Steroids and PED's are out there too.

Steroids were made notable initially in the world of weight lifting and body building. Professional football picked up on it as well. The problem is, these are powerful drugs that require careful medical monitoring to be fully safe. Using them any other way is illegal as a result. What they do is allow the muscles to quickly repair themselves following an intense workout. This allows the athlete to build up muscle quicker, and work out harder and more often - all drug enhanced.

So, how does this all apply to baseball? The Jose Canseco era Oakland A's really brought steroids into prime time. Never before had baseball seen such huge, chiseled players. The result? Home run city, and a few world championships. The big problem is, according to MLB, it was NOT against the rules. It was against the law to use without a prescription under a doctor's supervision. It was also clearly "cheating" from an ethical perspective. Body building, the NFL, and the Olympic Committee had all previously denounced steroids, so we all knew using steroids was going too far. It was unnaturally taking the body beyond where it would normally go, and most players would avoid it - thus providing an even playing field for those who were brave enough to partake.

The real crime is that MLB opted to overlook the obvious indiscretion because they liked the results. Jose Canseco and Mark Macguire set a terrible trap. Their success was praised nationwide. Players like Barry Bonds were frustrated. Barry is a much better player than these guys, but they were getting all the fame and glory. And, while it was outside of good sense and ethics, it was within the rules of the company they worked for. So, Barry could not help himself. To prove he was better than the rest of them, he needed to compete on a level playing field with them - and according to MLB, he was NOT cheating. Roger Clemens? It seems he was indeed beginning to slow down with age, as we all do. Again, imagine being offered a drink from the fountain of youth - get back that strength and ability - just take a few simple shots? How can you turn that down, especially when it does NOT break the rules of MLB?

MLB allowed it to happen, they allowed it to go on, and players that were daring enough, and driven enough took advantage. Now, there is a lynch mob mentality to round up these players. What enrages the fans the most is when they out and out lie about it. Who is coming out on top? The ones who tell the truth. Jason Giambi was first. Now, Andy Pettitte (for HGH). These players cause fans to shake their heads, boo the player to show our disapproval for their decisions, and then move on. Jason is now just another player. Yes, we know some of his past performance was chemically enhanced, but we're okay moving forward. Same with Pettitte. He made a bad decision, confessed, and moved on. Do you remember Gary Sheffield roomed with Bonds and admitted to using the Cream? I did not think so - we've moved past that.

It seems all too clear that players like Bonds and Clemens had their hand in the cookie jar too. No different than Macguire, Giambi, Pettitte, and a host of others. But to point their fingers at us while vowing how they are innocent is a direct insult, and fans the flames of anger, and helping blow it all out of proportion. Bonds and Clemens had the audacity to do something none of these others players did - they broke all time records and became historic icons in baseball lore. We want to praise their accomplishments at ending up at the very top of baseball history, but now we cannot embrace that. Their feats are tainted. Had MLB stepped in a decade ago and put a stop to it, we would not be here today. But here we are.

So, now what? As a baseball fan, we move on. We have moved past the Black Sox scandal, racial segregation, Pete Rose's gambling scandal, player strikes, spit balls, corked bats, stolen signs, sliding into second base with cleats raised to inflict injury, lowering the pitching mound, the introduction of the designated hitter, etc. Now, we need to simply recognize, as FANS, not as ownership, that this has happened and it is getting under control.

We need to begin to trust that this year's players are reasonably clean. We need to admit that some of the feats accomplished over the past decade are steroid enhanced, and let it go. The players were not breaking MLB rules, and they got away with pushing the envelope. We look back and hate they did it, but we also enjoyed it while it was going on. They set records the way no one could in the past, and it is now part of history. We don't need to like it, but we do need to move past it.